Who Lost the Internet?

Nothing new today, but I wish to add my voice to others who are stating the obvious: For years, The USA has controlled the jewels of the Internet, keeping its overall mechanism safe for democracy. Many other countries have complained, and there have been proposals to make the controlling bodies more international, but we have resisted them, until now.

Since the NSA’s meddling with Internet traffic, websites and phone calls is known, other countries will not stand for US control of the Internet. The NSA’s insistence that they are targeting foreigners may make US citizens feel calmer, but it roils the rest of the world. We can look forward to actual splits in the world Internet, or perhaps we can look forward to an Internet where the NSA’s involvement is relatively small, and all we have to worry about is monitoring and surveillance from China, Russia, North Korea, powerful criminal organizations, hackers from Greece, and Ecuador.

The NSA might have caught an occasional terrorist with its monitoring, but the longterm damage will be much worse.

On a much lighter note: I gained a pound on vacation, gained another at home, and then dropped back into my current “safe zone” at 218.8 pounds. I want to lose more weight, and soon.

Crossing the Hudson River, free:

My wife and I have just returned from a lovely vacation in Montreal, Quebec, and Massachusetts. One aspect of our trip fascinated me today.

We drove up the Northway to Montreal. We stayed on the west side of the Hudson river, eventually traveling north of the river's source.

Driving from Montreal to greater Boston, we crossed over to the east of the Hudson, north of its source.

Driving home, we crossed the Hudson in the Greater NYC area. There is no toll for crossing the Hudson East-to-West. By driving north of the Hudson during our trip, we avoided having to pay the double toll for crossing West-to-East.

I must say that ever since the NYC Metropolitan area adopted the system of one-way double tolls for crossing the mighty Hudson, I've wanted to find a way cross the Hudson free. And now, I've done it.

Tomorrow morning, I'll discover what this vacation has done to my diet.

Give me Immunity ...

An I.R.S. manager appeared before an investigative congressional committee yesterday and took the fifth amendment, refusing to testify.

Those of us who grew up in the 1950's know that taking the fifth can be the right way to deal with congress. I imagined this particular I.R.S. manager declaiming, "Give me immunity, or give me death!"

Fortunately, it hasn't come to that.

Oklahomans Are Rational:

After that dread, mile-wide tornado leveled homes and towns in Oklahoma, people are asking why every town in the so-called “tornado belt” (about half the United States) is not required to have a Safe Room where people can try to hide out from monster storms. Such a building requirement would add a lot to the cost of homes, but wouldn’t it save enough lives to be worth it?

There are many cases where we want people to act rationally about a remote threat, and it takes a lot of analysis to understand that the people have already voted, and their actions are already rational. To illustrate the tornado-belt situation, I want to remind you of another building requirement:

In much of Israel, every home was required to have a Safe Room that people could stay in during a SCUD Missile attack. The government provided many citizens with gas masks to wear in the Safe Room. The Safe Rom requirement added cost to building requirements. It must have raised the rent of countless apartments. Israel’s citizen’s accepted this requirement. Were they acting more rationally than Oklahomans?

For Israel, the Safe Room represented a patriotic duty. Its people were saying to the missile firers, You can do some damage, but you’ll hardly main or kill anyone. The Safe Rooms were a duty of pride.

If Oklahoma were to require Safe Rooms in every building, I think they would be sending a different message to Oklahomans: A tornado may come and destroy your home, level your town and leave you with nothing. But you are more likely to survive. That is not a patriotic message. It is a message of despair. I think that anyone who lives in the tornado belt hopes to be spared. Malevolent as they are, tornadoes attack only a small percentage of the population. People do not plan to be desperate, at a considerable extra cost.

If there was a tornado-defusing machine that sucked the force out of any nearby tornado, I suspect that many Oklahomans would be happy to pay extra taxes to have one near their home. That would be a positive message of defiance.

When "One thing at a time" does not apply:

The New York Times published a short piece in the Science Times of April 16. Titled “Flights may get rougher as CO2 builds up,” the text worried that forty years from now, air will be more turbulent, making our flights through the sky rougher. I thought the writer had shown a remarkable lack of imagination. I wrote to the Times and, silly me, I thought they would publish my observation:

When analyzing the future, it is a great mistake to assume that only one thing will change. Forty years from now, if our commercial planes bear any resemblance to the jets of today, they will likely be equipped with sophisticated air turbulence sensors and computer-driven engines that can make micro-adjustments to air pressure shifts. Thus our future flights are likely to be less turbulent, regardless of changes to the atmosphere.

After two days of banqueting, my weight rose to 219.0. I expect to lose one pound quickly, and thus I will hold the seven pounds I have lost since last November. But gosh, I want to lose some more weight, soon.

Pieces of Hardware must look out for each other? A charming story...

I think this is a charming story, and I hope you will agree. Every month, I completely discharge my iPad 2, and then recharge it to 100%. I understand that this procedure helps the iPad software control the battery and extend its life.

Today was the day. I completely discharged my iPad. Then, when it was somewhat recharged, I turned it on. My iPad displayed the login screen with a notification:

Recharge my Electric Razor.

IKE DAVIS SCORES!

I got interested in the Mets game last night because of the pitching. Their new phenom faced 28 batters in nine innings, yielding no walks and one barely-a hit. The game ended in the bottom of the tenth as follows:

Ike Davis singles. The next batter bunts him to second. A pinch hitter lines a hit to right and Davis scores.

Sounds like the Met’s fine manager made a few obvious decisions in the tenth to ion the game. But there’s more to it than that. Ike Davis is a very slow runner. I’m sure he could run the bases faster than I, but that’s not saying much. His slow running could have meant he was unable to score from second on that hit. Worse, what if he came lumbering around third determined to score, and collided with the catcher, risking another season-ending injury?

A good bunt can move any runner from first to second. But what if the bunt was barely okay?

The Mets used twelve players in this game. They had a whole bunch of guys on the bench, some more expendable than Davis and all of them faster. It’s worth noting that their manager did not substitute a pinch runner for Davis. Why didn’t he do it? I’m afraid I know the answer.
Terry Collins was well aware of the Mets’ nefarious ways. I’m sure he was thinking far ahead. Like this:

Suppose the score is nothing to nothing in the twelfth inning. We’ll need Davis’s bat.
And suppose the score is nothing to nothing in the fifteenth inning. We’ll still need Davis’s bat.
And suppose the score is nothing to nothing in the seventeenth inning. We’ll still need Davis’s bat.
Suppose the score is nothing to nothing in the nineteenth inning... I better leave him in the game.

I can't empty my pockets!

Years ago I was fascinated by garments like the Scott E-vest, that offer lots of extra pockets, even electronically-aware pockets. I came to my senses, concluding that I should never wear any such clothing. It's hard enough to check four pants pockets and one shirt pocket every night. And I'm not that good at checking, either. That's why I'm guilty of laundering money. How could I possibly check sixteen pockets?

I own a few cargo pants today. They have those pockets-below-the-front-pants-pockets that I never seem to need. Whenever I feel my front pants pockets to see if they are empty, I decide they aren't, and dip my fingers in. And what do I find? Those pockets are empty, but I can feel the button for the lower pocket through the upper pocket. These mistakes do ensure that I won't leave coins in those front pockets by mistake...

While I'm at it, I'd like to mention one more pocket that some of my pants have. I call it the Oh-My-God-I've-lost-my-keys pocket. It is a great idea: a small pocket inside the front pocket for change. Fifty years ago, this change pocket was very small. You reached into it carefully with narrowed second and third fingers. Modern technology, I guess, has made it possible to widen the "change" pocket, so that I can slip my hand in there by mistake, and of course that means I feel no keys. The keys nestle just below in the real pocket, and I can't hear them, but they probably cry "April Fool" while I wonder frantically how I lost them.

I promised a diet update whenever my weight stopped bouncing between 218 and 219. This morning I weighed 214.8. That looks great, but I've recently been too sick to snack. I will fight hard to resist my physical desire to regain that weight, and I hope to work out a compromise with myself.

A Logical Weakness in Fitzgerald's Gatsby:

The website NewspaperAlum has a fascinating piece about how the critics of 1925 perceived Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby. For many years after its publication, Gatsby was not recognized as the Great American Novel, and you can read some critiques at this webpage that are both perceptive and nonperceptive.

I am fascinated by Elizabeth Wharton’s letter to Fitzgerald, quoted on this webpage as follows:

“To make Gatsby really Great, you ought to have given us his early career (not from the cradle-but from his visit to the yacht, if not before) instead of a short resume of it. That would have situated him & made his final tragedy a tragedy instead of a ``fait divers'' for the morning papers.''

Wharton singled out a great logical weakness in this novel. I wonder if Fitzgerald was aware of it. Fitzgerald paints Gatsby as a man who has reinvented himself. He is not to be trusted about his own image and background, for there’s no way to know where reality gives way to his self-invention. Nonetheless, near the book’s end, Gatsby tells Nick where he came from, and we are expected to swallow this self-history: hook, line and sinker.

Dear Shelby Lyman, you missed Mate in One:

Shelby Lyman’s May 5, 2013 Sunday Chess column has “White to Play” for this problem:

White(5): Rg8, Bh5, Nd3, Kg3, g4

Black(5): Rh7, Bd7, Nc6, Kh6, c7 .

His solution is mate in two: 1. g5ch, Kxh5; 2. Nf4 mate.

Most of us would prefer the simpler: Rg6 mate.

Shelby! Check your problems!!!!

Thanks.

Masking Passwords:

Slashdot reports that the Fedora 19 release will not mask passwords, in accordance with a recommendation that Bruce Schneier made, that he has since, perhaps, recanted. It is very clear to most of us that not seeing the passwords we type leads to frustrating errors, and rarely improves security. As we continue to argue about masking passwords, I would like to add an obvious alternative that is not on the table. Our current choices are:

1. Mask passwords
2. Show passwords
3. Briefly show the last password letter typed, a practice that Bruce Schneier seems to like. But how about this:
4. Add an “unmask” button to the left of a password field.

Those of us who have struggled with laptop keyboards that get stuck in unusual shift modes would be happy to have this alternative. Those of us who type passwords into tiny phones and iPods – seriously, who is monitoring what we type there – will also be delighted. (On phones and small devices, the gesture to unmask a password might be: pound the screen with your fist.)

I am allergic to Lilac Flowers:

I am allergic to lilacs. Year after year when they bloom in central Jersey I get all the head-and-throat symptoms of an allergic reaction, and that time is right now. I told a friend I had never heard of this allergy, but I looked it up on the web, and I'm not alone. Donna Daniels puts it very well, right here.

I am miserable. Loratidine (generic Claritin) will help, but Loratidine will also rob me of some sleep.

Blogging my birthday on Facebook...

For a few months, I have been using my Facebook presence to tell people what I am writing in my blog. Today I am turning it around. For the last few days I explained on Facebook how I was celebrating my birthday. The circumstances were unusual enough to make Facebook the right place to "blog".

I am "Ravens Gift" on Facebook. And my age is now two cubed time three squared.

Local Sports Announcers can get Peevish:

I switched baseball allegiance this year from the Mets to the Nats. When the season began, the Nats were the “best team in the league” on paper. But they are only human, and yesterday I listened to their local TV announcers bitch about how to rescue the team. They sounded desperate, and they wanted a big shake up: shuffle the lineup, bring up a minor league prospect, make some trades.



In lean years when I rooted for the Mets, I heard similar desperation from the New York radio sports commentators, but they were kind enough to explain the cause of their strong emotions.



When a team is doing well, the local announcers and sports analysts make more money. (I shall call these people the “sports2ers.”) When the team goes into the pits, the same happens to the sports2ers’ income. Think of the difference it makes. When the team is going well:



The sports2ers get paid to draw customers to advertising campaigns and public events.



The local TV and radio stations get a bigger audience. Their ad revenue goes up, and the sports2ers negotiate better salaries.



The sports2ers can organize their own paying events.



The sports2ers may get to broadcast additional programs.



The next time you hear these people complaining about a bad trade or a poor decision by an owner, remember: they have a stake in these decisions. They care, not just for you the sports fan, but for themselves.

I prefer Advertisements to Silence:

This month I am using the MLB iPad app to watch Major League Baseball. I paid for a month of video that covers almost all the games. It’s a seductive pleasure: Let’s see what games are on now. Do I care about any of them? Cleveland scored 8 runs in the first inning, a few days ago. Wow, let’s watch, I want to see how they did it. (I bought the video feed for this app to help me learn about the team I’m newly rooting for, the Nats.)

But here’s the peculiar thing. In between innings, the baseball video ceases. Instead, I see a static graphic that says, “commercial break.” The iPad is silent, and there’s no indication how long this dead silent break will last.

It’s even possible to get stuck with this “commercial break” screen while the game goes on. Suppose I go away from the MLB app during a break and check my email, then return to the MLB app during the same commercial break. I’ve learned that in order to see any more of the game, I have to dismiss the video and reselect the game. That’s a bug of course, but it contributes to my unease during the “commercial break” silence.

For $25 less per month, I can follow a schematic of the game and listen to the game’s radio broadcasters. Sometimes, between innings, I’m allowed to hear ads on the radio feed, instead of silence, and that is so much more reassuring!

I always thought I would prefer to skip advts, but there I am: I’d rather have ads than silence.

My weight is wavering in the 218, 219 range. When it gets higher or lower than that, I’ll let you know. The diet continues...

Browsers need to apply more Induction:

Here’s a feature that Safari – and perhaps most browsers – don’t perform. It would make a great addition to any browser.

I use Safari to watch the Twit Network "iPad Today" netcasts. Recently I finished show 143, and I wanted to select the next show, 144. Clicking “Done” for 143 brought me back to the address bar, where I prepared to manually edit ../143 to ../144. When I touched the bar, Safari gave me a list of tappable suggestions. Did I want to watch show 143 again, or perhaps 142?

Here’s where some induction would be useful. The browser should note that it is suggesting I watch one of a sequence of shows. (The same can happen when we are viewing a sequence of pages.) It should of course offer the NEXT term in the sequence, in addition to the shows I have recently seen.

This morning my weight bounced back up over 219. I thought I was poised to go down into the depths of 217, but I’ll have to wait. At least, I am keeping off the first six pounds that I lost on this diet.

Coffee and Chinese Five-Spice Powder:

Occasionally I post a food tip here, and my closing remark is:

Delicious.

But I am not sure about this one. I tried it this morning, and I don't know if I like it, like it a lot, or think that it is "meh".

The only coffee flavorings I like have deep pedigrees: Cardamom (near east Asia and Greece, etc.) and anise seed (Sicily). Somewhere on the web I saw a recipe that married Chinese Five-Spice Powder with coffee. Try adding about 1/4 tsp to a six ounce cup. The subtle flavor of licorice is welcome, but it is more different from anise seed than you might expect.

Bear in mind that many compoundings can be called five-spice powder, and perhaps there exists a special one that, for coffee, is just right.

This morning I weighed 218.6, a great step in the right direction. In my case, controlling calories is THE way to lose weight, but staying quite active all day, burning many more calories, really helps.

An Excellent Nursery School Game:

When my son was three, he was one of fifteen kids in a nursery school class. The teachers played one game that the kids liked a lot. They would have all the children close their eyes. Then they would quietly take one child out of the classroom. Then the others opened their eyes, and the teachers challenged the children to figure out who was missing.

If you think about it, I'm sure you will see all sorts of benefits to making three year olds play this game. I have always remembered it, because I think the game would have been a good challenge for me, too.

This morning, after a BIG eating weekend, I weighed 219.6.

The Elderly do not need Vitamin D3:

Elderly people in this country, and I am one of them, apparently do not need vitamin D3. I say this, although my own doctor told me to take the vitamin. My evidence is based on the pill itself. Now a number of companies make this pill, and I believe that they do not all have the same point of view.


My pill manufacturer's D3 pills are tiny, and do they roll! They are almost round, and the "almost" factor makes them unpredictable in motion, like an American football or a rugby ball. They are hard to pick up, and super-hard to pick up when one is trying to grab several pills at once. When they escape and drop to the floor, they travel. Their ideal customer must have sharp eyes, be flexible and good at crawling under tables.

Today I weighed 218.6 pounds plus one vitamin D3 pill. Not bad.

Those Threatening French:

I present to you an anecdote about an accusation that was outrageous on its face, almost laughable, that seems to have come true.

In 1998, I worked for a consortium of rich people who wished to develop accounting software that was capable of tracking the values and assets of unusual kinds of capital. One of the things we did was to develop concise descriptions of how private banks for rich clients actually worked. One of our banks was a Swiss bank. I had several discussions with the bank’s two owners.

You cannot imagine how upset they were when they discovered that we were going to send a team of French Systems Analysts to learn and document their procedures. One of the owners explained to us that anything the Frenchies learned about their bank would inevitably be passed on to the French government. Here’s how they said it would work: the government of France would find some trumped up, terrifying charges to bring against our analysts. They would be blackmailed into spilling proprietary information about the Swiss operation to avoid going to jail for a long time.

“They could even make the French analysts steal information from us!” The Swiss bank owners insisted that the French routinely did that sort of thing.

We were sure that no such government blackmail would ever happen. But we treaded carefully in this case, nominating a team of people to study the Swiss bank that its owners found acceptable.

Now perhaps you have heard that the French military told Wikipedia to delete an article that has been on their site since 2009, an article that appears to contain publicly available information. The Wikipedia people asked the Direction Centrale du Renseignement Interieur what, specifically needed to be removed. They got no response, so they left the article up. (And of course, the article has now experienced the Barbra Streisand Effect.)

The French have arrested (I’m now quoting the fine writer Cory Doctorow from his detailed explanation at BoingBoing) “a random volunteer Wikipedia admin living in France -- a person who had never had anything to do with the post in question -- and threatened him with jail unless he used his admin privileges to delete the post.”

I must apologize to those Swiss bank owners for being – I thought – so paranoid.

This morning I weighed 218.8 pounds. I need to get back to 215 (my diet began at 225). I'm concerned right now that my appetite is not adequately under control.

Freudian Slip:

I forgot to weigh myself this morning. I hope that wasn't a Freudian Slip; but it reminded me of a good Freudian Slip.

Even way back in the 1950's, there were talk radio shows. The host on one show was interviewing a Hollywood personality, and he asked the guest about a couple who were rumored to have a rocky marriage. "Didn't they argue and shout a lot?"
"Oh, no," the guest said. "They're a very combatible couple."
And then after a pause, he added, "I guess that was a Freudian Slip."

April Foolery at ThinkGeek.com:

I subscribe to ThinkGeek.com's product listings, and occasionally I even buy something. I was busy this week, so I did not peruse their current catalog, which apparently was salted with April Foolery. Here are my favorites among their offerings:

• The Eye of Sauron Desk Lamp. (Doesn't seem to emit much light, but you wouldn't want to look at it.) Amazingly affordable at only $299.99. Will Kramer commented: Click to place Ordor.
• The Play-Doh 3D Printer.
• The Arsenic-Based Sea Monkeys
• Keurig K-Cup 5-star Meals. Gourmet Taste for the Ramen Budget. (Where were these, when I was on business trips?) 

I still dismayingly weigh over 219. Today should be a good day.

I Discover APL, and I am embarrassed:

In 1966, Kenneth Iversen came to New Jersey to give some lectures about his programming language called APL, which was causing a small sensation. This programming language required a large symbol set (the sort you found on a fine IBM typewriter rather than an ordinary card keypunch machine). It was, I think, one of the first programming languages to define operations in turns of the data to be processed. For example, the same symbol for summation could cause two numbers, or two vectors, or two matrices to be summed. The language used terse symbols to invoke powerful operations on data, and consequently, very powerful programs could be written in just a few abstruse symbols.

I went to one of the lectures on APL, examined the handouts, and hung on Mr Iversen’s every word. In the Q&A session, I asked a question. The handouts suggested that there was no way to call a subroutine in APL. How in fact, would I create APL functions and subroutines?

Kenneth Iversen frowned at me. What in the world made me, a young software punk, think that his elegant language required subroutines? Subroutines were old hat; no modern software system would ever require them again. Clearly, my question marked me as a slow-footed relic of the past.

My remark did more than annoy Iversen. A number of other people in the audience, well-dressed professors, agreed with him and expressed their annoyance in angry stage whispers. How could anyone think that APL, with all its concise power, might require subroutines?

I felt awful. I think of myself as a quick thinker, and here I was revealed as a dumbhead. All those important people agreed. No one defended me. And I felt even worse, because, well, I was sure that in order for APL to be useful, the language would need functions and subroutines.

The ability to write functions and subroutines was added to APL a year later.

After two days of banqueting, my weight has jumped to an alarming 219.4. I expect it to get back to 217 pretty soon.

Alex Rodriguez can help the Yankees this year (and next year, and next ...):

Alex Rodriguez can help the Yankees this year, and next year, and the year after, and so on. All he has to do is renegotiate his contract. I'm sure he needs two or three million per year to stay out of the poorhouse, but letting the Yankees keep the other $24,000,000 per year will make an enormous difference to them. Come on, Alex! Help your team.

This morning, I weighed 217.8 pounds. Not bad, I think. I am holding on to an eight pound weight loss since last November.

An unlikely (and good) drink:

I previously complained that soda drinks that have been carefully compounded to taste "just so" tend to lose flavor when you add your own flavorings. Diet Coke is one of those beverages. For example, I think that adding fresh lemon really spoils it. And yet, I tried the following drink (before passover of course) and it was good:
Diet Coke plus Kreider Farms Buttermilk (about two to one ratio).

This morning I weighed 217.4 pounds. Good news, considering the recent banquets and matzah I have enjoyed.

The Tucson Museum of Miniatures: The Mini Time Museum:

In Tucson, we visited an unusual museum. I suspect there are very few like it, although I hear it has a rival in Chicago. The Tucson Museum of Miniatures features many displays of tiny dolls, dollhouses, period boxes (that is, miniature rooms in which everything is appropriate to a specific time and society), war miniatures, and mini war tableaux.

The miniatures are displayed in a building that was designed, at (I suspect) great cost, to bring out that sense of childish wonder in us all. Some of the displays are under glass floors, and children take great delight in walking over them to see. Other displays are hidden in the folds of a venerable fake tree. Even something as simple as leaving the museum imparts a sense of wonder. Trying to open the exit door can trigger a spark that flits along a wall and manipulates a switch.

In a wonderful coincidence, we hid out from most of Tucson's rare snowfall-in-February in this museum. It is not a museum that you visit because one visits museums. It is a place to see because it is both wondrous and rare.

As Passover begins, I weigh 217.2 pounds. This holiday is dense with sweets and starch. I hope to report that my weight can stay under control.

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Dear Djaohn:

Friends of ours who live on a distant continent wired us a gift. Think of it as a fruit basket. The gift came - of course - with a personalized note.

There was a whopper of a mistake in the note. I assume that our friends dictated the note, over the phone or via the Internet. The whopper occurred during the hand-transcription of their very nice note.

You've heard me say this before: This is the 21st Century! The gift store should have made it easy for our friends to compose their note in a PDF. The store would then print their note and include it in the gift. It's so easy to do this! Let's leave error-laden hand-transcribed gift notes in the past.

Today I weighed even more, 217.6. I hope this temporary weight gain is due to this week's challenging circumstances.

iPad Mini: Pro and Con:

I’ve followed many analyses of the iPad Mini (which, I understand, is currently outselling the iPad). There is a critical issue about the Mini that analysts never mention! I shall discuss it here.

In general, the evolution of any sort of computer causes earlier versions to become obsolete. Computer obsolescence has been a sharp issue in the Windows world. Apple seems to want to maintain more compatibility for its older hardware, but inevitably older machines become obsolete: their displays are too small or too weak, and sometimes an OS upgrade, required for the newest software, does not work on them.

The original iPad suffers from some of this obsolescence. And note that some versions of the iPad and iPod do not support Siri.

Apple is up to version 4 in the iPad. For how long will the iPad 2 be able to run the most popular apps?

Now let’s look at the iPad Mini. If I were deciding whether to buy one, I would think first about the following Pro and Con:

CON: The Mini has most of the hardware of an iPad 2! When the iPad 2 becomes obsolete, so will the Mini. And with the original iPad already partly obsolete, the iPad 2 (and the Mini) will be next to fall.

PRO: The success of the Mini has placed Apple in a wonderfully awkward position. Think of the bad press they would garner if they made the Mini obsolete within, say, three years. The Mini’s success will force Apple to plan an upgrade path for the iPad that does not obsolete the Mini too soon. This consideration may explain why Apple is (apparently) not about to release an iPad 5. It’s good news to iPad 2 users.

By the way, I own an iPad 2 (with a gorgeous, irrelevant screen crack) and an iPod 5. I do not plan to buy a Mini. I expect to upgrade to an iPad “N” when I need another one of these machines.

This morning I weighed 217.2 pounds. Darn!

I want to Plug in my charger where I need it:

I have shared most of the observations that occurred to me during my recent vacation, but here's one for you hotel chain operators: when we customers return from our vacation adventures, chances are that our iPhone, or Galaxy, or iPod or whatever needs a recharge. Please make it easy for us to plug in, in the bathroom. You know what I'm saying.

This morning I weighed 216.2 pounds.

An IOS App that got better when I was on vacation:

If you follow reviews of iPhone and iPad and iPod apps (I'm sure the same is true of Android), you will sometimes find a review mentioning that the app it's discussing is FREE TODAY. But the review was written months (or days) ago; you're too late.

Wouldn't you like to think about "purchasing" any app on the day that it's free? How do you find these bargains? I use an IOS app called AppsGoneFree, courtesy of the App Chronicles website.

Each day I wait eagerly for the app to update with a new list of five to eight new "free today" apps. AppsGoneFree has a short description of each one, making it easy for me to zero in on the apps I might really want. Checking them out is fun.

AppsGoneFree usually updates between 11 a.m. and noon. (I live in New Jersey). But when we were on vacation in Tucson, Arizona, AppsGoneFree was even better; it usually brought me the good news as early as eight or nine! I suspect the human beings behind this app live in California.

This morning I weighed 216.2 pounds.

Compensatory Action:

You know how it is when you think you have two separate problems, but then you see how they come together, and you realize that what you actually have is: one problem, and one solution.

Our local newspaper, The Times of Trenton, reports that the NJ Department of Transportation will give a grant to the nearby town of Hamilton. In Hamilton, people are distraught about the slaughter of pedestrians by motorists. The Times reports that people hope to find a way to improve the odds of pedestrians versus motorists.

I have a solution to this problem. If the state sponsors a study, I’m sure it will come to the same conclusion. Just two words:

Assault Rifles.

This morning I weighed 217.2 pounds.